Milk Mayhem

I'm sitting now in my rickety wooden chair, the torn and discolored foam pad my only cushion in the house, try to stop shaking. Of course this was due to my stove, an outdated, parafin guzzling, hand-me-down, mostly broken, I inherited from countless volunteers before me. My heart is hammering and I pray the fresh, hot milk i'm about to drink

A. calms my nerves B. does not burn my mouth C. does not give me TB.

A. Because I felt I almost died. B. I am one of those with a tendancy to just drink or eat something thats too hot cause i just want it so bad C. I have no idea if through this debacle I boiled the milk long enough to kill disease. I tend towards hypochondracy

Back to the Story.

After returning from Mr Simbeye's house, my fresh milk man, I started to boil the milk and do some dishes while I waited. I was careless and the milk boiled over, so now my notoriously hard to light and onery stove goes out. I already have to pour parafn down onto the wick to light it and now its doused with milk. Just m luck. So naturally I pour more parafin on and try to light the sucker. As usual it lights, sputters, dies. So more parafin, I'll admit, sloppily poured and once more I light my lighting stick and jab it onto the wick.

BOOM!!!!!!

Sort of like a muffled boom, like the initial shooting of a firecracker out of its sheath. Suddenly my stove is a ball of fire. All I can think is shit shit shit shit! As my heart is racing and doing flip flops. Desperatly I cast about and grab the first cloth I could find, my towel. I cover my hands with it, grab the stove and run outside (im not sure but I may have been muttering shit shit shit! out loud now)

Using the towel, I rip apart the stove, and beat each peice out with the towel, trying not to catch on fire, wondering if I would die if it exploded or if it would even explode if let alone. Finally (after this whole 1 minute ordeal the falmes are out and the stove did not blow up and is disembled in pieces in my front yard.

After coming into the house, sitting and listening to my heart beat for a while, I decided to try and calm my nerves with fresh milk. Then i'm going to try again, carefully, to light my stove again, adn boil the other half of my milk.

By the way, the milk SO GOOD.

It doesnt taste like spoiled milk (The first time I let it sit too long and another time used a pan that made it taste like tin).


FOOTNOTE:(I have since not freaked out when my stove exploded and in fact have put out other peoples fires, including my soap club who lit a vat of boiling oil on fire and had no idea what to do. My stove has also broken more and yes I still pour parafin down it.)