Car Conversation

(Recap:) Phil and I were helping out at our two new volunteers language intensive week which took place in our boma. They invited us along to visit a local traditional healer. So Bree and Kara (The two new health volunteers) Phil and I, two language trainers named Jeroham and Joseph, Fexony (Our coordinator) and a driver piled into the land rover and headed out. After we met the traditional healer we continued into the mountains to watch a traditional dance called the Mari-panga. )

This is a conversation taken from that ride.

"Is that a Catholic ring?" Jeroham asks, pointing to the gold band on my right ring finger. Only Catholics recognize the ring and often point it out as common ground. It is a Rosary ring that a friend of mine asked me to wear while I was overseas in Malawi.
"I'm a Catholic too," he continues, "But mine broke. But no one can judge me but God. If I drink and get a second wife."
This is definatly a conversation I don't want in on but unfortuantly I have no choice but to listen since we all crammed in this Land Rover.
"I was excremated." Jeroham says. Apparently this excommunicated, newly re-communicated priest with a troubled love life and philosphy of 'share everything with the car' wants to talk about personal issues.
"Uh...." I begin, unaware if I should clarify his mistake, catching eyes with the other volunteers who are staring up at us with wide-eyes.
"I was excommunicated," He clarifies himself. Before we all start laughing at his mistake. Jeroham proceeds to tell us the story of his excommunication due to the aquiring of his second wife.
She was young, beautiful and apparently not too happy about the whole arrangement. She ran off when he was kicked out of his cushy priesthood for having a second wife in the first place.
"I think she didn't love you," Fexony says, shocking us all by jumping into what was a monolouge until this point. His opinions on morals and values are strong and it comes out as forceful relationship advice.
"I think she loved money." he finishes.
Jeroham shrugs it off.
"I would have had 20 children with her. I was so hungry. I loved her so much."
This si already way more than anyone wants to know or needs to hear.
"I'm not a marriage councelor, just someone who believes in marriage," Fexony says.
Again, offhandedly, Jeroham shrugs.
"She was young, she was not mature, her capacity for thinking was low." he says.

Ladies and Gentleman, Welcome to the male mentality.

After a pause Fexony asks,
"So where is your first wife."
"She is here, in Chitipa, she watches our house as I'm working in the city." J
"But you live in Lilongwe, the big city, while she stays up here in remote Chitipa?" F
"Yes." J
Fexony suddenly becomes a righeous avenger.
"She should be reaing the benefits of the city with you!"
"She likes it here." J
"You just wanted to marry her to watch your house," Fexony accuses.
Jeroham tries to backtrack.
"No! No! She is looking for someone to care for the house."
"You should look," Fexony says, staring intensly at Jeroham.
"I am, it's a process." J

We arrive. The people are all drinking local beer. A white haired, white suited man leads the ceremony. He has a sand man hat on. He yells, blows his whistle. One dancer performs the Mari-panga, white clothes, phallic spear and chalky white powder on his face. After about half an hour another, younger, taller, warrior looking young man shows up and starts doing the dance as well. He heard the drums and heeded the summons.