Advice on Living in Africa 1

1. Furniture will break if you sit down hard enough...or just because.

2. Termites always come back.

3. Realize that your stomach hates you, and will consistantly perdiodically do so. In fact, it may hate you constantly.

4. The Chim (Chimbudzi)(Pit latrine) is not your enemy. Your aim will improve in time.

5. Try to know when people will come to your house, this way you won't shame yourself when people comment on how little, and weird the food is that you survive off of.

6. Good food and hot showers will be more important to you than indoor plumbing. And fantasies of electricity are best not thought about. (At least if your an enviroment volunteer)

7. Your not as tan as you think, alot of it is dirt.

8. Your huge medical kit actually is important.

9. Don't think in USD, you don't get paid in USD.

10. Travelling at night = No Akiza (Good) A. Its against the rules B. Its creepy C. Creepers are Alipo (Around) D. Increased booze levels (Yes, that same man that greeted you at 7 am really was drunk and now he's even drunker.) E. Azungu traps are harder to see.

11. Its Trousers not Pants here. Get it? Talking about your under pants is cultural no-go.

12. You WILL have strange dreams.

13. You will become an expert at self entertainment, evenif that means the ability to stare blankly at a wall for several hours.

14. A mosquito net quickly becomes a saftey net against other creepy-crawlies.

15. If you sleep with any part of your body touchign the net you will wake up with an impressive collection of at least 8 concentrated bites in one ridiculously small area. You will have drouble identifying individual bites.

16. Kids can be a welcome distraction...as long as they are the ones you don't fantasize about throwing rocks at.

17. Learn the language so you don't have awkward conversations where you accidentally said your neighbor could have all your possessions...and your younger sister.

18. Your house will be invaded by any creepy little critter you can think of, termites, bed bugs, mice, ants, camel spiders, any type of spider, geckos, skinks...

19. Coerce, bribe, beg and bodily force people to send you packages and letters, you will start to crave it like crack.

20. Say goodbye to personal space, it doesn't exist here.

21. KEEP IT CLEAN; bike, house, yourself. It discourages little nasty surprises later. (dead mice, ear splitting gear grindage ect.)

22. Keep a pee cup, it'll be the best idea you ever had.

23. Water concervation: Learn it.

24. Going to sleep as soon as it gets dark andwaking up at dawn are perfctly acceptable practices.

25. Buy in bulk.

26. People will attempt to rip you off any time, any place, becuase you're a foreigner. Don't let them do it!

27. If something is going to make you happy, DO IT! Be a little selfish.

28. You're not going to blend in no matter what you do.

29. Patience is a really really big virtue.

30. The art of staring at nothing WILL be aquired.